Many people think they can have sex with a friend without any consequences, but is this true? Can you have simple sex with a friend?
It's not uncommon for friends to have a crush on a friend and hesitate to say, "Maybe we should try dating?" But if neither person acts on that crush, it's what everyone calls a platonic relationship.
But there's no platonic sex, and the moment you have sex, it's no longer platonic, so can you have sex with your friend? Sure, but it's not platonic sex, instead it's bedfellowship or casual intercourse.
Once you have sex, your relationship begins to change, so how do you maintain a bed buddy-cum-friendship relationship? You can still have sex with your friend, but you should follow some general guidelines to make sure everything goes smoothly without any regrets.
#1 Do you have love for your friend?
First, you should figure out where you stand. Do you secretly have a hidden crush on your friend, or is it not so secret? If so, bringing sex into your relationship won't do you any good unless your friend has a crush on you too.
#2 How does your friend feel about you?
You don't actually know the answer until they confirm it, don't just assume they really do or don't like you; you need to get confirmation from them about how they feel and then, together, you can decide whether to bring sex into your relationship, and if you're just attracted to each other and not interested in each other, then bed buddy style sex might work well.
#3 Be honest with each other.
This is not the time to hide your true feelings from your partner and vice versa. Your life is not a Hollywood romantic comedy, so it's best to be honest with friends who may feel differently from you or want the same thing, and that's okay, at least you're honest about what you're looking for.
#4 Remember that this person is supposed to be your friend.
Of course, it's just casual sex, not dating someone on the internet, they are your real friends, and if things don't feel right or you want to end it, it can't just swipe left and end it like on the internet, or if you are a real friend, respect and consider their feelings.
#5 Communicate fully.
Bedfellows relationships all have one thing in common: a lack of communication, you can't know what your friend is really thinking and they can't read your mind, which is why you need to always make sure your communication channels are strong. Yes, it can feel awkward and uncomfortable to talk about it, but if you don't, you could lose your friend.
#6 Don't forget your friendship.
First you are friends, then whenever sex is involved, you try to need to downplay the friendship, but this may actually backfire, instead, work to keep the friendship in the relationship.
#7 Set the rules.
Few people would consider making rules with their bedmates because, frankly, who likes to make rules during sex? It feels a little dull, doesn't it? But these rules are the best way to preserve your friendship. Set strong relationship rules, like will you spend the night? Do you let other friends know? If you would start a relationship with someone else would you still stay bed buddies?
#8 Confirm relationships with bed buddies often.
You may not have feelings for each other now, but remember that feelings can always change. If you have been bedfellows for a few weeks, it is important to check with each other to make sure that you have not developed feelings for each other, and if so should you remain bedfellows?
#9 When one party has developed feelings for the other ......
If there is a moment when one partner becomes emotionally involved and the relationship is no longer a bed buddy relationship, that's when you have to figure out what will happen. Yes, you both enjoy casual sex, but when it comes to emotions, it quickly becomes messy, and once you or your partner wants more, the sex needs to end.
#10 Maintain a balance between bedfellows and friendship.
You start out not as sexual partners but as friends, and then one day decide to bring sex into the relationship. So, by all means, maintain a healthy balance between sex and friendship. Hang out with your friends, watch movies together, do some pre-sex stuff.
#11 Bed buddy relationships usually don't last.
Ultimately, you will need to determine your eventual relationship, do you two want to start a formal relationship? Or do you want to cut off sex and just remain friends? Ultimately, you will need a relationship that lasts. So keep in mind that this comradeship may not be long term.
Now, you know what to do if you want to have platonic sex with a friend that goes well, but remember that the moment you bring sex into a friendship, for better or worse, everything changes.